im n0t sure if this entry will seem s0 petty with other pe0ple per0 kasi f0r me its really a big deal.. per0 sabi nga kanya kanya lang yan..
this has been my pr0blem ever since i c0mmit myself in this relati0nship. Alam m0 yun, things has been g0ing s0 sm0othly tap0s may biglang mangyayari, panira ba?! We're b0th trying s0 hard t0 impr0ve this c0mmitment kaya lang the m0re harder we're trying the m0re it is bec0ming t0o imp0sible.. ewan k0 lang huh.. based on my 0wn percepti0n lang yun. But he always gives me assurance na time will c0me that everything will be ok. But i d0nt want ASSURANCE.. i want th0se things t0 happen. Very impatient lang kasi talaga ak0 cgur0. I want t0 get the things i want instantly. Kung sa relati0nship lang naman, ok kame.. i mean, ok yung relati0nship namin. The main pr0blem is US.. Kasi it's been a l0t of pr0blem na din ang nalagpasan namin per0 kita m0 naman, kami pa din, and pr0ud ak0 dun. Kaya lang, until n0w.. we still havent learn each 0ther's weaknesses and strenghts.. mer0n pa rin kasing ibang bagay na di pa rin namin nasesettle.. ewan k0 ba. I d0nt kn0w h0w will i put th0se pr0blems int0 w0rds.. Di k0 rin alam kung may pr0blem ba tlga or imaginati0n k0 lang yun. Naku ewan tlga. Alam k0 na there are times na nahihirapan sia, and alam k0 na alam nia na may times din na nahihirapan na din ak0.. We just tend t0 be blind t0 th0se things para lang matap0s na, deadma nalang kesa lumaki pa dba?! Yun kasi ang ugali ni b0nn... yung sa s0brang matiisin, quiet nalang sia lagi.. di k0 ba alam kung galit na sia, nasasaktan na sia or ayaw na ba nia.. unlike me, very v0cal kasi talaga ak0.. And because of that, nahihiya ak0 in my part na mag demand, mag reklam0 and mag serm0n.. kaya what will happen is quiet nalang din ak0.. parang paunahan nalang, kung cn0 unang mapun0, sia ang unang mag frefreak out, parang ganun ba?
Ang hirap pa saming dalawa, we rely s0 much sa isa't isa.. parang saming dalawa lang nagrerev0lve yung mund0 namin. At first, kala k0 maganda yun, per0 n0w, ang hirap pala. Kasi parang sa kanya ka nalang laging umaasa.. being happy.. and being everything y0u wanted t0 be. Ak0, i admit na, i have l0st s0 many friends dahil sa relati0nship na t0.. but n0 regrets kasi ginust0 k0 din naman yun, i ch0se and make th0se things t0 happen.. I still remember during 3rd year HS.. bag0 palang kame nun.. kame na ang laging magkasama, we we're n0t able t0 j0in our own c0mpany, esp me. Per0 gladly, naka survive kame..kasi naman, kahit di ak0 nakakasama sa mga friends k0, they are still there f0r me, because i really try t0 explain sa kanila kung an0 ang lagay k0 nung mga times na yun.. and n0w, my HS friends are all g0ne.. we're still c0mmunicating per0 di na tulad ng dati.. and i feel s0 sad dahil dun. But n0w, im trying t0 accept na, n0t all things are meant t0 last.. And naging masaya din naman ak0 sa c0mpany ni b0nn.. kaya lang kasi th0ugh thankful ak0 sa mga new friends k0 ngae0n sa sch0ol,para kasing may kulang.. ibang iba sila sa mga friends k0 way back in HS.. mas click kasi ak0 sa mga HS friends k0.. very 0pen ak0 sa knila, as in every deatil about me and b0nn alam nila and likewise ganun din sila.. pareh0 kami ng mga hilig.. [gumimik, umin0m, manigarily0..etc] alam m0 yun? per0 im n0t saying na mas gust0 k0 yung mabisy0ng barkada, kaya lang kasi ganun ak0 eh an0ng magagawa k0 dba? E yung mga friends k0 ngae0n sa sch0ol parang di pa ganun ka seri0us.. ak0 nga lang ang my bf samin eh.. ak0 lang ang gumigimik,umiin0m.. parang ang panget dba? but on the 0ther hand, masaya din naman ak0 sa c0mpany nila, but still there are times na parang may kulang.. ^^ ta0 nga namang n0h, wlang kuntent0 kung an0 mer0n sila..
And n0w y0u kn0w, why im really having a hard time t0 give up b0nn.. ive sacrificed s0 many things na din para lang maging fruitful and tumagal ang relati0nship namin. And i kn0w na sia din.. kaya lang kasi, mabarkada tlga.. di ak0 mabubuhay ng wlang barkada.. yung wla kang matawagan pag my maj0r pr0blems ka.. wlang kang makausap ab0ut certain things.. alam ni0 yun? tap0s wla yung bf m0.. parang ang hirap dba? buti nlng si ate chelo nand2 na sa bahay at least may nasasabihan ak0 ng mga pr0blems k0.. kaya ang sama tlaga sa l0ob k0, in times na kelangang kelangan k0 si b0nn tap0s wla sia.. it happens s0 many times na din, alam ni0 ba yun? per0 may narinig ba sia sakin? wala.. kaya alam m0, sasabihin m0 na 3 yrs na kame, madami paring bagay na di alam ni b0nn ab0ut sakin, because pinili k0 na wag din niang malaman kasi sasabihin nun ang petty lang.. I cant even cry infr0nt of him.. di k0 alam why per0 ganun yata tlaga..
Im n0t asking t0 have the perfect relati0nship, and the perfect bf.. i just want s0meone wh0 i can burst out all my burdens.. kahit an0 pa man yun. And im thankful because i have my dad.. he's always there t0 listen and help me.. i can even just cry in his sh0ulders tap0s wla na, ok na. Yun lang naman eh. Im n0t even asking f0r t0o much.. haaaayyy.. cgur0 nga time will tell.. cgur0 nga there will be time na everything will w0rk out just fine..
Maybe you'll soon forget about all
Or maybe you'll miss it like I do
One thing's for sure:
I'm all knocked out
Spend too much time thinking of you
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind/BR>
And your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Don't wanna write, I don't wanna call,
I would not know what to say
It should be you, that's how I want it to be
Tell me you feel the same way
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
and your smile is tattooed on my mind
and I can't get you out of my dreams
Oh, yesterday I was feeling safe
All I do today is trying to be brave
And no melody can seem to soothe my mind
And now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
and your face is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Yes I know you're tatooed on my mind you're tatooed.....
Unforgettable...
Friday, April 7,3:55 PM
